July 20, 2026
Nihil
(an internet of violence)
My eyes are like the moon
cratered by witness of violence
and I walk the world like one dazed and homeless
despite the riches I have brought to myself.
It is like a hand, or a tentacle that reaches to touch me
and pulls away all that I have
and I am alone, all friendships are stolen, my family does not remember my name,
“I am your son!” I cry, to their shaking heads.
“You were never to my taste,” they say,
and like a concrete block, pick up and remove themselves.
“it is the violence that does it to me, to us!’ I say.
But they pretend not to comprehend what I am saying,
their backsides greatening their distance from me.
The images of violence hole me out further, I feel unable to process them;
they remain in me something corrosive in my soul, consuming all joy.
If I could look away, I would.
But in some sick fashion, it feels like my responsibility to bear witness.
Thus, the violence extends its reach
to the victim
and the observer,
ruining everyone.
June 6, 2026 11:51 PM Sunday
Include me
When i heard him say
that only God is real
and that my sins, when in relationship with God
will be seen as secondary
something just to release
when in relationship with God.
I went for a long walk after hearing that,
and I am back, thus, to my old, new name- Isaac.
Time to make a change in my soul.
And I spoke with my namesake
i spoke with Isaac from the Bible, now a great, celestial being capable of guidance and friendship,
and he loved me, and I was reminded of what happened the last time I was “Isaac”
it was crazy
and I almost lost myself-
lost for neglecting to pay attention to myself as I moved about
seeking God and Truth- often seeking it from devils.
and I was almost obliterated- of my own folly
And Jesus found me, a desperate moment,
and I jolted awake with knowledge of whose floor I laid upon
and with who
and I bust out that house and onto the street
The shock and terror of them tracing me, seeking the chink of strength in me to destroy it
as my distance between them grew, still not fully acknowledging it to my aware mind.
They…. them- seekers of other souls that they could take of the milk and blood,
and destroy the mirrors that reflect them as in beams of God’s Light
Feeding off of God’s teets (the human body),
with eyes shut tight, with greed and malice,
They fed off of my delusions like it was sacred milk that kept them alive.
Ohh, the first time I was “Isaac”
the first time I was Isaac,
Ohhhh,
Ohhhhh,
Now, I am better, no?
If I remember only God is real,
can I withstand this change?
If I simply release the sin from my soul,
and the sin of others hated by me,
will I, again, survive?
If I remember myself?
I and God, as Isaac says-
Include me.
You still have Jason,
but include, also, me.
Stutz's Fairy Tales and Poems 